Office Holiday Memo
To: All Employees

From: Management

Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)

3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday

Post-it notes
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters.

Submitted by: Anmol Giri
Address : Denver,US
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Ulgy Monkey
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.

Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

Submitted by: Ushav Pun
Address : Dollis Hiil,London
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Cremate Me
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."

Submitted by: Kalash Jha
Address : New Baneshwore,Nepal
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So Stupid Yo mama's
Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to find the “11” button so she could dial 911!

Submitted by: Smirti Pun
Address : Eastcost,UK
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